I'll Tell You All My Secrets [entries|friends|calendar] Veronica [ website | If you love me... ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Last Time? [10 Jun 2005|08:25pm] [ mood | thoughtful ] [ music | Speed of Sound - ColdPlay ] SUMMERRRRRRRRRRR I don't write in my journal anymore. I just don't seem to have much to write about that i feel would interest anyone. So since this may very well be the last time that I ever write in here lets get a few things cleared up shall we: 1. No, this is not my real journal i keep another one which is collectivly mixed in all my notebooks from writting during class and also in a notebook i keep at home. 2. Yes, Im still completly hurt from not making the play and god only noes what will happen next year - its gonna be bad thats the most I can tell you. 3. Yes, despite my true determination to move on, I still truley am captivated by this so-called "prick" 4. No, I am still not too worried about school. Although i should be focused on school. I seem to be still a very large procrastinator. 5. Yes, finally im starting not to care if i get in trouble with my mother even though shes probably one of the scariest people ive ever met. fuck this. life sucks living in the corner shes created for me. 6. Im sorry to everyone I might have hurt this year, to anyone i might have been bitchy with, to anyone i migh still be mad at. Really, I am. 7. I love you all so much. Please id love to hang out with you this summer... call - 248.342.4050 -- Even though i will be extord. busy with Dance piano Algebra II work France and driving shit i will so fucking find a way to fit you in because im a workawhore See you all... in Costumes, MRP, Marian, France?, The mall, Birmingham, the movies, or just riding around in your car. well i wont write again probably unless tomorrow i find courage enough to attempt to make him notice me............................ hahahh  yeah freaakkking right. so for the last time... Ciao Bella Veronica Therese   1 -> TeLL SeCrEtS

Hey mom im seeing Madagascar i cant talk right now i have a ride! i loved the bham bonfire hell yea! [30 May 2005|12:30pm] [ mood | okay ] Friday a day of crazy shit - Everything from Bridges to Bacardi and Sundresses to Schnaps hahahaha lets just say we need a better place to do these things... Sketchy but amazing night - oh by the way Im home alright thanks. hahahahaha I love you girls.! - oh and mike he was hot, lets not lie. Ciao Bella Veronica 1 -> TeLL SeCrEtS

[24 May 2005|10:21pm] So i’ve been thinking a lot. About the ending of the school year and all the stuff i have already planned for another crazy summer and i’ve come to several realizations. One being my attitude now. Lately, i have had an anger problem im sorta mad at everyone and everything for the stupidest shit ever. There are few people that I am not pissed off at or annoyed by or have had even the sliiiightest yearning to slap someone. Today when someone stopped in front of me in the hallway causing me to bump into someone i shouted fuck you!!!  ... the second it came out of my mouth i was like ohhh what is my problem. ( i could only thank god that she didnt hear me!) Another time i totally bitched at Ashley WHY??? i dunno??!!! i didn’t even mean it! that was another time where i just couldn’t even comprehend why i was so messed up AND i felt really bad afterwards too! Other things bother me too like when people ask me stupid questions and small talk is really pissing me off... and i think that the whole reason im acting like such a whore is because well 1. i want to get out of Marian right now i wish it was summer! Why isn’t it summer yet? 2. i don’t have my drivers license and that has been bothering me more than i thought it was. Im 16 in a half a year EXACTLY ON JUNE 5! Im going to be 17! Someone give me my fucking license before i kill you. Cant my parents see that by not having my license its just hurting others i would not nearly be such a bitch if i had my license cuz then i could get away from my suffocating family which would therefore lead me to HAPPINESS! I guess this is more of an apology in advance and for the past and please feel free to slap me if the bitch comes out again! Seriously im not a bitch most of the time... Anatomy went great wish me luck on the practical! :) JTMcB’s test tomorrow – ahh I NEED A LITTLE MORE THAN LUCK! Ciao Bella Veronica Secrets: yes, indeed, here are some beautiful photos of amanda and her group, grace, and lindsay from anatomy dont look if you dont want to see a disected cat but its really not too bad i promise!!! ( La Faunda, Billy (Biley), and Natorious C.A.T. )</font> 2 -> TeLL SeCrEtS

This is my first mistake. [22 May 2005|01:35pm] [ mood | irritated ] This weekend had its ups and downs. Friday was fun jessica and i hung out and ate dairy queen and watched harold and kumar go to white castle which was so retarded it was hilarious and then she spent the nite! Saturday sucked im not even going to go there but i really hate my parents Today i went out to eat at PF changs and it was amazing and i have to study for anaytomy but i keep putting it off! Andrea and i are supposed to get together and study and tomorrows my cousins grad party... ugh im tired. im so sick of school its not even funny and i cant wait until its over. i just cannot wait. Ciao Bella Veronica SeCrEtS

ABC its as easy as 123! [16 May 2005|06:50pm] [ mood | bored ] A - Age you got your first kiss: 14 B - Band listening to right now: Coldplay C - Crush: no one ... reasonable? D - Dad's name: Victor E - Easiest person to talk to: Jessica, Grace, and Andrea F - Favorite bands at the moment: umm i dunno thats a hard desicion G - Gummy worms or gummy bears?: Gummy bears - they are so much more fun H - Hometown: Bloomfield Hills! I – Instruments: Piano - 10 years!! J - Junior High: St. Hugos K - Kids: I voted for adoption after my last 22 kids ;) L - Longest car ride ever: Marco Island, Florida M - Mom's name: Susan N - Nicknames: Vera, VV, VeVa, V squared, V, Conica, Ronnie, and Ranna O - One wish: To make it into the goddamned play P - Phobia[s]: not making it into the goddamned play Q - Quote: "The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt." Sylvia Plath R - Reason to smile: Theater, friends, family, and Jude Law S - Song you sang last: "Wishing you were somehow here again" T - Time you woke up [today]: 6:20 U - Unknown fact about me: My last name is supposed to be Volante V - Vegetable you hate: carrots ugh W - Worst habit(s): complaining and bitting my finger nails X - X-rays you've had: chest xrays i had really bad pnemonia when i was in 2nd grade Y - Yummy food: Ice Cream, Pasta, and eveyrthing else with sugar Z - Zodiac sign: Stagattiarious - fuck the spelling! 2 -> TeLL SeCrEtS

Blame us cause we are who we are Ohh and hate us cause you'll never get that far [13 May 2005|11:17pm] [ mood | okay ] [ music | Winding Road ] okay well today was awsome cuz i stayed home and didnt go to walkathon cuz of a doctors appointment... so that was sweet i basically watched tv all day -- beautiful! then i went to marian at 2;30 for the mrp meeting which was great cuz it last like 10 minutes after i went to go see house of blue leaves with neil, val, misha, and sasha then we went to go to starbucks. after we drove to robs house and hung out with scott brian and rob which was fun cuz we reminisced about old tv shows we loved and stuff like that... all in all it was a fun nite but tomorrow i freaking have to babysit victoria which sucks but if anyone wants to come over let me noe cuz i will be bored beyond craziness!!!!!! i love you alll Ciao Bella Veronica Secret: I miss my red bull days! :( 7 -> TeLL SeCrEtS

Stay with me; Your the one thing that I need; You make the hardest things - seem easy [11 May 2005|08:18pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | Great Heights ] Well okay time for some fun!! Do it alright?? [01] Reply with your name and I will write something about you. [02] I will then tell you what song/BAND reminds me of you. [03] Next, I will tell you who you remind me of, celebrity/animated or otherwise. [04] Last, I will try to name a single word that best describes you. [05] Put this in your journal. Graduation soon...! my sister! Gone from marian!!! sometimes the very reason my head aches and other times the girl who would happily bitch out Ellen for treating me like shit. I wonder how im going to feel. I really dont know. I mean shes the same person that makes me want to kill myself and other times the very person i admire. It's going to be weird. Me not having to worry about what im doing or saying. Not having to worry about how hanging out with the same friends is retarded. Not having to think about how the boy i like comes to visit valerie, and not me. but then again there will be no one to look for when im alone and no one to ask if its a non uniform day and no one to laugh with about all the stupid shit that happens at school. Even though sometimes I SWEAR TO GOD I HATE HER!! - im going to miss her (and her bitching) Im gonna miss my other seniors too.... ahh this is so sad! how can i say goodbye to some of you! :( Wow this was all to emotional to handle!!!! (And they still have a few days left!) Ciao Bella Veronica 9 -> TeLL SeCrEtS

Sometimes you need to forget what you feel, and remember what you deserve. [07 May 2005|02:05pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | The Only living boy in New York ] So last night was fun. I went out with Jessica Talia and Jen for dinner at p f changs which was amazing. Then we went to birmigham and saw liana and her friends and erin and that was fun. we saw amneityville horror and lets just say i got a little messy. I guess its just dissaponting; not the entire nite dont get me wrong i loved hanging out with everyone espcially jessica and talia is really hilarious. but all in all - it was just another nite with expectations to high. Im not sad about it. i just expecting things to be different -- thats all. I feel sorta different lately. my parents have noticed to because they have that "concerned look" on their faces when the look at me. and they keep asking me whats wrong. its sorta obnioxious. im not doing anything bad i just stay in my room a lot more and hardly watch tv anymore and i dont talk as much as i used to. its nothing bad. im just thinking more. Ciao Bella Veronica Secret: obviously i didnt mean what i said in my last entry. that stuff you noe. about not wanting a boyfriend. 2 -> TeLL SeCrEtS

And in that moment, I swear, we were infinite. --(Perks of Being A Wallflower) [02 May 2005|08:09pm] [ mood | satisfied ] Hey Babes!!! Well i just wanted to let you know im brunette and according to Nicole whom i loveeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... hugs z 212: you are one HOT brunette xStrawbryKissesx: omg really??? I love you! that made my day xStrawbryKissesx: hahaha and so are you nicole i mean i tried to go for the nicole vanbiesbroucks im a sexy brunette look but i couldnt pull it off as well as you can hahaha ...oh how nicole made my day! even if i will never quite get up to nicoles level!! haha!!! I was thinking today while listing to my teacher drone on about some damn ratio shit i dont get -- I dont really want a boyfriend right now I know Jessica and Grace want to find me one and i know that its what i wanted before but I just dont want one right now and theres not going to be one out there to meet up to what im missing. oh well... maybe a few months from now i will think differently. im out Ciao Bella Veronica Secret: The Perks of Being a Wallflower is the best book im glad allllllll my babes are reading it because it will change you!!! SeCrEtS

I l o v e talking for hours about absolutely nothing, its an excuse to hear you. [29 Apr 2005|10:39pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | The only living boy in new york ] I seriously feel like killing someone. I hate fridays at home and im never doing that stupid thing again it didnt work. Im being a bitch to my parents and seriously dont care its their fault this friday sucks A few observations ive drawn with my overplentiful time... >im retarded because i have mental issues >im seriously deformed >i dont like cat dissection >i dont like teachers who call my house becasue they feel like it >i dont like geometry >mr mcbrooms eyes are red like satans >the outsiders is NOT the best book >the perks of being a wallflower is SUCH a better book >i dont like marian moochers >i am a marian moocher >i dont like marian >saying you accidentally butt bumped someone in mrs kings class is a crime >i dont like girls who find it nessicary to be whores >i dont like whores >i like when i can sleep in topos class while watching the dumbest movie ever >I like when we get free pizza >i like when i dont do work in computers >i like when marian attempts to have an art gallery in the front its very amusing >i like when mrs king attacks our cat with her VERY scary hands cuz then i dont have to do any work >i like when JTMcB doesnt call on me >i like when remenissing about how bad my old school was >i like dirty boys who see the light and fill their lives with god! its beautiful they way the quote scripture in the profile when they just took advantage of drunk girls last year. i love it. >i like the dirty looks i get from my sister in the hall >i like my best parents when they are silent sweet. yeah okay im done im out too im super bored nite. Ciao Bella Veronica Secret: i dont care. 2 -> TeLL SeCrEtS

Tanorexic [28 Apr 2005|07:08pm] [ mood | blah ] ( Click Whore ) So anyways today was cool i got a 100 on my anytomy test it was an unexpceted bosco stick day and i have to wear a hat to school tomorrow? sweet. So how did your day go? Ciao Bella Veronica 2 -> TeLL SeCrEtS

[25 Apr 2005|03:22pm] [ mood | pissed off ] [ music | Don't Panic- Cold Play ] Well then. Anything Else anyone wants to shove in my face about him because i'd absoultly love to hear it. Well this is the last entry you will ever hear of the mysterious "him" because i dont want to hear, write, nor think his name again. So this is your last time to comment about him to tell me something i dont noe about him anything to help me move on.. really the worse it is the better because i really want to hate him. its better than feeling things i cant do anything about. Im not writting anything about him anymore. There are other boys out there. So many others. WHY cant I just understand that? Ciao Bella Veronica Secrets: no im not saying it im not fucking saying it because you DONT even want to know. 9 -> TeLL SeCrEtS

and then there are those of us... who are just (Born) with tragedy in our blood. [23 Apr 2005|09:46pm] [ mood | disappointed ] [ music | Blue Eyes ] I love how its snowing out. Really, i mean this is absoultly classic its almost May and we are expecting 2-4 inches of ice on the ground. Lovley. I helped Jessica get ready for prom it took like 2 hours to curl her beautiful sexy black hair and then like an hour to do her makeup. But her eyes looked amazing i think i did a pretty damn good job if i do say so myself! I sorta wish i was going i was okay before but helping jessica get ready and talking about after parties and stuff sorta made me want to go. i just want to be there. with him. which is so imposssible. becuase i will never get to be there with him this was the last chance and im not old enough to do anything about it. not like i would have it woulda been bitchy if i asked him. Im sick too. I have some stupid cold and cough I'm ALWAYS sick. So basically i spent my saturday doing homework and sleeping and curling hair. Friday was kick ass tho Grace Jess and Me hanging out those are my favorite times. really i love grace and jessica they save me from killing myself. i love them. Well im out cuz im sleepy AGAIN Ciao Bella Veronica SeCrEtS

Maybe, The worst pain in love is caused by regrets... [20 Apr 2005|07:37pm] [ mood | uncomfortable ] I had my voice recital it went wonderful. Okay this is getting a bit ridiculous I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM! and i have like no clue why. andddd im creating all these stupid situations that will just about NEVER happen. i really need to stop and everyone is probably so tired of me writting about this but its really on my mind a lot. he has to deal with a lot of different aspects of my life so yeah. i wish there was something i could do though. something less retarded? Ciao Bella Veronica Secret: tomorrow is going to be SO boring. *(if someone can help me out in JTMcBs class - i would love you like a fat kid loves chocolate cake... let me noe! 4 -> TeLL SeCrEtS

Why dont we hit restart and pause at our favorite parts and we'll skip the goodbyes. [18 Apr 2005|09:32pm] [ mood | okay ] Mr Mcbroom is pissed at me and Josie cuz we arent "consistant" Funny how we are the only two girls who actually have their homework everyday and the one day we both don`t we are bitched at... whatever cant wait for the bitching to begin since i have a meeting with him tomorrow 7:25 Wensday is going to be some freaking fun - not ONLY is it a free dress day but its Bosco stick day! Now if that doesnt say fun to you well fuck you cuz thats marian. Then i have some stupid voice recital - i cant wait to sing in a mike thats amped up to its compacity because the 7th graders get really nervous and forget they are not supposed to whisper. The last three years have resulted in me basically blowing out the church - ive tried that sing softer thing and i always forget cuz i get to into the song and ive tried that stand far away from the mike thing but that doesnt work either because id have to be 50 feet away from it in order for me to be able to even speak into the mike without it damaging somones hearing and that just looks ridiculous. I'll let you know how it goes. Friday - umm some awsome fun with Grace and Jessica im phyched we are getting our nails done and eating dinner then im spending the nite at jessicas to do her hair for prom!!! *which will be a hott shade of BLONDEEE!!!* wellllllll even tho i was so made fun of for putting my life in this thing id like to clarify that - if i dont write i get extrodinarily hostile and this isnt my real journal anyways. this is just for fun... so yeah Ciao Bella Veronica Secrets: ~Im dying my hair brown next monday any objections leave em here. ~Still Having impossible thoughts about stupid him...i wish i could tell him to leave me the fuck alone... o wait i dont "Physically" see him anymore anyways. 2 -> TeLL SeCrEtS

Keep your pictures... They don`t change over time. Only the people do. [14 Apr 2005|08:18pm] [ mood | amused ] Normally i dont do these stupid quizies but under the circumstances of this being... TOO FUNNY TO HANDLE -- I had to .. sadly the results are the truth... and now i know even jesus thinks so. ( What Does Jesus Think of You? ) Ciao Bella Veronica Remember Whores Free Dress tomorrow Student Appreciacion --- my ass then dont give me a fucking test that day... (GRETCH!) SeCrEtS

I promised myself I wouldnt fall again . . [13 Apr 2005|08:29pm] [ mood | excited ] Did i get an A on my Geometry test???? Any betters hahah??!!! I HOPE I DID AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Friday is going to be... THE SHIT Jessica Ashley P F CHANGS the MALL YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS What a way to spend friday! Ciao Bella Veronica Secrets: I have a problem... even when im on a totally random subject like thinkinga bout how a locus point intercets the parellel plane my thoughts still return to him that wonderful unobtainable boy... Maybe this is a REALLY bad mental disorder like OCD only i think about things obsessivly? I promised myself I wouldnt fall again . . I wont let it happen SeCrEtS

Cuz im still here & i`ve got nothing left to lose with every single moment i`ve waisted on yOu [10 Apr 2005|06:23pm] [ mood | sad ] Well ive finally decided to let go. It`s a little sad but we all knew nothing would happen with him anyways too bad this is just another time where i have to wonder What would have happened if I? oh well. Another day i guess. My New Years Resolution doesnt appease me any more than my motto. Ciao Bella Veronica 4 -> TeLL SeCrEtS

[09 Apr 2005|12:56am] [ mood | intimidated ] ... wow that last entry. he didnt come Im not supposed to like him I dont. I dont. I dont. Yes I do GOD I SUCK Ciao Bella Veronica Secrets: mmmmmmm well i think that boys suck really bad and i just think that it sucks that nothing ever really "works out" thats just a lie they makeup to make you feel better about the pathtic ruins youve turned your life into PS i had an amazing time with jessica. i love her. Neil helped me cope with my pain thank you neil. you yelled at me and didnt understand me but thank you neil. but you did listent to me and tahts hard to do so thanks 6 -> TeLL SeCrEtS

[08 Apr 2005|10:34pm] [ mood | nervous ] WHY IS HE COMING OVER WHY!??? IM TOTALLY SPAZING! FUCK HIM! FUCK MY SISTER WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING?????? like WHY!? Fuck them all... Jessica left me I want to cry I miss her and she left like 2 minutes ago.. fuck. im gonna look like such a loner now im in retarded sweat pants and a marian shirt because im to bloated after the large DQ blizzards we had. I think i want to do drugs. Maybe then i can pretend im spaztic because i take drugs instead of being so retarded that i freak out everytime hes here i hate this i need to talk to someone i dont want to be here im literally FREAKING OUT and nothings going to happen cuz he wont EVER like me that way FUCK THIS SeCrEtS

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